masturbate

masturbate
1. (masturbate) (7163↑, 1709↓)
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.

Vote for the clit commander. and may the clit live on

Author: The clit commander http://masturbate.urbanup.com/93226
2. (masturbate) (5376↑, 1528↓)
What you do when there is nothing to do.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I took off my clothes and started to masturbate.

3. (masturbate) (3672↑, 1184↓)
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home. 2.) The reason why people buy playboys. 3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks. 4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years. 5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.

The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement

4. (masturbate) (3597↑, 1153↓)
To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.

"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"

Author: Little Blue Patakha http://masturbate.urbanup.com/20766
5. (masturbate) (3000↑, 1029↓)
To sexually pleasure oneself to orgasm. Usually better than sex, because, not only do you know what you want better than a partner, there's no risk of [STD] or pregnancy\! Everyone does it, though most people don't like to admit to it.

Betty: I masturbate, what's wrong with it? Jane: Ew\! You mean you touch yourself? Betty: Yes... Jane:...is it good?

6. (masturbate) (2189↑, 688↓)
the process of pleasing yourself sexually.

the old man masturbated until he died.

7. (masturbate) (2085↑, 771↓)
to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion

I masturbated and sunk your battleship

8. (masturbate) (885↑, 297↓)
When you're horny enough, what you do when you're too chicken or virginal to grab a partner to do it with you. Can be simple or complex; depending on how horny or depraved you are. Guys: stroke their penis. Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves. Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.

Guy: Ahhh. Playboy. Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex. Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction. Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate\!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow\! Wow\! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot\! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)

Author: una chica fantastica http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1576653
9. (masturbate) (844↑, 293↓)
MEN: to slowly (or quickly) rub your penis until white stuff appears. Feels really good. WOMEN: to rub your vagina or clitoris. You can use dildos and vibrators, too. Takes longer than men

Do it in private, please\!

10. (Masturbate) (705↑, 263↓)
To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.

Most guys should know what I'm talking about.

11. (masturbate) (468↑, 61↓)
chances are, you probably already know what masturbate means, and you're just looking it up to find out how to make yourself feel better. so, if you are a guy, wrap your fingers and thumb around your penis, and move it up and down. another way is to wrap your hand around your penis with one hand, while creating a "lip" shape with the other. usually this is done by putting your index and thumb finger together. now, the "lip" hand is on top of the penis, while the other hand is underneath. now, slide your hands up and down. for girls, start by putting your finger (usually index or middle) half-way into your vagina. then move it around in circles. this will get your blood pumping. then, go further in, and start moving your finger in and out of your vagina. now, add a 2nd or 3rd finger, and thrust them into your vagina. when they are inside, jerk your fingers up and down, rather than in and out. you can also fold a pillow in half, and hump away. it feels better if you put a can, or something hard in the pillow. you can also try this. put your heel under your ass, and into where you vagina is. rub away.

oh i love to masturbate when no one is home.

Author: i have lots of fun http://masturbate.urbanup.com/2845560
12. (masturbate) (521↑, 130↓)
Something Everybody does I mean EVERYBODY\!\!\! (except people with cameras in every room, but the fund a way around it)

I masturbate every night\! It's Too FUN\!\!

Author: Masturbate is good\! http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1373795
13. (masturbate) (425↑, 82↓)
When a man or woman, uses a body part to allow themselves sexual pleasure. Masturbation often results in a mess of genital fluids. These fluids can be used in many ways such as glue, fertilization, or even for a sweet taste. To masturbate in a male would be to grap your penis and rub it up and down in a continuous motion. To masturbate in a female would be to either rub you vagina up and down with a few fingers or to stick a long straight peice of plastic in the shape of a penis(a dildo) in the vagina and pull up and down.

Sex can wait...Masturbate\! If it hurts...stop

14. (masturbate) (299↑, 57↓)
To have sexual intercourse alone. Males usually look at porn while doing this. Take 1 hand put it on the shaft of the penis. rub it up and down until it gets at its full potential. slowly increase your speed until you cant stop. it feels so good and no worries about pregnancy im pretty sure everyone does it sometime during every day.(i know i do)after beating it for a minute or a few you will reach the climax and ejaculate all over. the more you do it the farther you will shoot :D then your penis head becomes very sensative after you shot. Then you quickly turn off your porn, put your clothes back on and act like nothing happened. girls on the other hand take more time to do this. they mostly do it when they are away from people for a long enough time. You sit down usually on a comfortable chair or couch and then u stick your middle finger inside your vagina. Or you can take a few fingers and rub the clitoris (most sensative spot) some girls like to get ready for men in their life or just dont want to risk anything so they use a dildo(a plastic penis)Girls can either bend over and give anal masturbation which feels good or stick it the vagina slowly and deep. the girl will have an orgasm and if goes long enough will also jizz (lots more)girls after masturbation feel worn out and will most likely relax for a few minutes maybe rubbing boobs or clit very slowly.

A:I was masturbating beforee i went to bed last night. B:Me too. A:Yeah, Who dosn't. A:I masturbate every time i get 20 minutes alone. B:I do it with my sister watching. A:Girl)Yesterday I masturbated for 40 minutes and i stained my couch B:Boy)Yeah, i was watching through your window. A:Girl)Wanna come over tonight and masturbate with me? B:Girl)Yeah, ill bring my dildo. A:Girl)Aww Yea\! Aawwww awww\! yea \! ye\! B:Girl)OH yeah u like that? U want it deeper A:Girl Aww awww\!\! (orgasm)

Author: ibeatoff3timesaday http://masturbate.urbanup.com/2110705
15. (masturbate) (375↑, 176↓)
1) [SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.] (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation. 2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See [word]god[/word].

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.

16. (masturbate) (242↑, 54↓)
to wank off Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow, But stayed up late, to masturbate. Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake. You should see me working on the short strokes, It's really grand, I use my hand; You should see me working on the long strokes, It's really neat, I use my feet. Smash it\! Bash it\! Pound it on the floor\! Smite it\! Bite it\! Ram it through the door\! Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,

I got horny so I took off my clothes and masturbated.

Author: attack of the pussies http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1616573
17. (masturbate) (201↑, 27↓)
This is what I do when I see something that excites me and there are no males around. I go find a comfortable sitting and relax. I take my pants and undies off then spread my thighs. I start rubbing the inside of my thigh to get me warmed up. I am already a little wet by now. Then I lick my two fingers and slowly and softly run them across my clit. aahh this feels so good. I'm moaning in anticipation because I know what is about to come. I then lick my fingers again and start at my clit, slowing guiding them into my hole. I make a soft back and forth motion, then as hard as I can shove my fingers as far back as they can go. i moan. I continue doing this a few times and then pull them out. ahh. I am dripping wet at this time. I make a circular motion around my clit and glide acrossed it. I am just teasing myself at this time. I shove my fingers down in there again and quickly go back and forth and around and I do this over and over. I continue moaning louder and louder making weirder and more exciting noises only to turn me on more. I am at the best part now. I pull my fingers out suck them to get all the juices off and then put them in there for one last time. I am working at a fast rate now. Flicking my clit with one hand and jamming my fingers in with the other hand. ahhh. I want to cum so bad I continue my motions. I start breathing harder and moaning louder. I squeeze my titties. I finally cum. I moan as I cum. I rub the juices all over my body and lick those fingers enjoying every last drop. oh man that was amazing.

Jessica- "Hey Jane do you want to masturbate with me today?" Jane- "Yea\! Only if you help me out though." Jessica- "Of course. I enjoy helping you out." Jane- "=). If only guys weren't so dumb."

18. (masturbate) (179↑, 47↓)
erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies From Latin word masturbatus

"I like to masturbate when i cant get [laid]"

19. (masturbate) (217↑, 95↓)
One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.

Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.

Author: raspberry (lust) muffin http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1361933
20. (Masturbate) (200↑, 79↓)
When one stimulates the genetilia. For guys, it involves taking their hands and gently rubbing up and down on their cock and they seem to get harder and harder and start rubbing faster until he cums all over the place, he also will get VERY horny and have an orgasim. For girls, it involves sticking one, two, three, four. or how ever many fingers or a foreign object in their vagina hole; often called "sticky fingers" becasue your fingers do tend to get sticky, but its pleasurable. You tend to do it while having cyber sex or looking at dicks.... it gets you very horny and you reach a HUGE orgasim.

I can't come down for dinner right now, I'm too busy masturbating and it feels SO good\!

21. (masturbate) (184↑, 77↓)
something you do to feel like you are fucking yourself :)

masturbate is pleasure

22. (masturbate) (162↑, 64↓)
When your 5 finger fiance gives you a bit of a knob-job. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE does it does it but still people are embarrassed by it. It SHOULD be that if you didn't masturbate it was sick or weird, not the other way around\! I do it, I know another guy that does it, and I am very sure that everyone else in my school does it. Note: Do it, it feels soooooo great. P.s. for extra pleasure use lubricant and watch hardcore porn while you do it this way you get great pleasure and an AMAZING orgasm\!

Me and ***** were in my house by ourselves so we went on the net and watched some porn...then we masturbated and neither of us felt embarrassed.

23. (masturbate) (105↑, 18↓)
What you probably just got done doing

After I masturbate I surf the web so that if people who suspected me to be masturbating walk in, they will think I was surfing the Internet the whole time.

24. (masturbate) (124↑, 43↓)
When a woman is pushing the [magic button]

"Do you masturbate?" "All us women push the magic button sometime."

25. (masturbate) (102↑, 27↓)
to sexually pleasure one's self.

TO MASTURBATE girl: first read the example of sex (\#4) or something else, like porn, to make you horny. Next, lick at least two of your fingers, the more there are the better it feels, and stick them in your pussy, rub them around and make sure that you are wet. Once you are wet, use those fingers to rub your pussy in a circular motion, I prefer hard and fast. If you have an electric toothbrush, use the vibrating bristles to rub your clit. Keep rubbing until you orgasm. Trust me you will be glad you did. Guys: Pull up and down on the shaft of your penis as hard as you like, rub it until you cum and orgasm.

26. (Masturbate) (145↑, 70↓)
to play with yourself

i like to masturbate at the movie theater

27. (masturbate) (91↑, 23↓)
to rub against your private parts until you cum.

I love to masturbate.i rubbed my pussy hard and imagined riding on top of her hips. licking her breasts and kissing her. I rubbed and rubbed, moaning and sighing. i was so wet and ready to come, masturbating is fun\! suddenly my friend burst in and saw me. "what are you doing\!?" she cried. "Masturbating, and fantasizing about you."i replied. Then she came over and started rubbing my pussy and then i came all over her hands.

28. (Masturbate) (118↑, 50↓)
Guys- To rapidly yank your crank. Chicks- To use variouse toys and satisfy yourself, or an electric toothbrush.

It is quite understandable.

29. (masturbate) (88↑, 30↓)
To sexually pleasure ones self. Masturbate

Oh my god I'm so bored, I may as well masturbate (oh damn I already am)\!

30. (masturbate) (92↑, 40↓)
To jack one's beanstalk. Or, to choke one's chicken.

I enjoy choking my chicken.

31. (masturbate) (108↑, 59↓)
Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)\!

Ah, masturbation....

32. (Masturbate) (61↑, 19↓)
To touch oneself until an orgasm is reached. Males grab their cock and stroke. Females finger themselves, or use a dildo, or vibrator, or a hot dog... We all do it, don't deny it.

Bob had to masturbate all the time because he was too creepy to get laid. Jane would rather masturbate, because she can't risk getting a bun in her oven. Although, she's had her eye on Bob for a while...

33. (Masturbate) (58↑, 18↓)
For guys only; If you want a really good orgasm quickly, then go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and cover the shaft of your penis with toilet paper. Move the toilet paper up and down, while pressing hard on your penis. The orgasm leaves you breathless, and I shot sperm about a foot and a half. FEELS GOOD.

Damn, I used to toilet paper to masturbate, and I think I was in heavon-on-earth.

34. (masturbate) (56↑, 16↓)
The best thing you can do when you're alone

I masturbated 'till I couldn't breath... it was awesome\!

35. (masturbate) (41↑, 5↓)
What guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing.

Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate. Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.

36. (masturbate) (63↑, 29↓)
to touch and play with yourself for [sexual] [pleasure] until a [climax]. for girls: take your finger and rub your nice [pussy] in circles until you almost reach your [climax] then stop....then do the circles again...do this 4 times and your [climax] will be better than usual... for guys: take your hand and wrap it around your cock on your cock...then move your hand up and down until you reach your [climax] ...you can also jerk on your cock to fell better...

Jenny: I masturbate all the time\! Danielle: So do I\!\! Jenny and Danielle: It feels so good\!

Author: Rachel O. Biancardi http://masturbate.urbanup.com/2948608
37. (masturbate) (80↑, 48↓)
To rub your penis until reaching the climax of sexual exitement, in which you ejaculate.

"Man, masturbation is the meaning of life"

Author: visible erection http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1279214
38. (masturbate) (44↑, 13↓)
when one touches themselves on thier pussy or dick so that they reach a state of pleasure such as an orgasm. pretty much every1 does it even if they're too ashamed to even admit it to themselves. its ok ppl its totally normal\!\!\!\!\! i do it whenevr i feel horny or if im alone at home\! its great\!

every1 knows how to orgasm unless they're idiots so i'll just say how i do it. first off im a girl so this is based 4 girls but it works for guys in a diff way i guess if you really need a fast way to masturbate i go on to urban dictionary and find some definitions under sex or horny or sex story. those are all good defs if u know what i mean.... :) then while i read them i usually rub my crotch against my bed for a while untill i feel really wet then when i need it more than anything i take a really firm pillow and put it right by my clit and vag and pump up against it while i read. i reach this awesome feeling and then i stop and take a break for awhile. so thats masturbating folks\! mmmmm horny

39. (Masturbate) (42↑, 12↓)
1) The most pleasurable thing in the entire universe 2)What you do when you're bored and have nothing to do 3)Why Playboys exist 4)To rub or agitate the clitoris, pussy, balls, dick, etc., to gain sexual pleasure 5)Why teenage pregnancies are less frequent 6)What I did before writing this; I got horny reading some of these definitions. By the way, very good material for getting horny. Look up Orgasm, Cum, and Fuck. Very nice ones.

1)Even having 3 orgasms, a blow job, and at least 4 cups of cum go down my throat when i fucked my boyfriend last Friday was not as good as when i masturbate. 2)Hm...... I'm bored. Hey, I know\!\!\! I'll get my old electric toothbrush and masturbate to orgasm. What channel should i put my TV on? 3)I went to the store on the corner and got a Playboy. Now let's masturbate\!\!\!\! 4)The year is 1985. I had heard that fuck meant to have sex, and middle finger meant fuck, too. So, I tried combining them\!\!\! I call it, MASTURBATE, or MASTURBATION. I'm sure it'll become popular. 5)Girl 1:With my vibrator, i can masturbate all i want and i can have all the pleasure i want, and i won't get pregnant\!\!\! Girl 2: But don't you want a baby? I mean, you're already 22. Girl 1: Hell no\!\!\!\!\!\!\! 6)No example, but if you get horny and masturbate to climax.... your welcome.

Author: IdontKNOWwhatTOdoNOW http://masturbate.urbanup.com/4033438
40. (masturbate) (48↑, 20↓)
To stroke or to touch your penis or genital sack in a way that feels arousing or pleasing. When one masturbates the point is usually to give oneself an orgasm or to get your penis hard for sexual forplay with someone else.

Dude, I saw fat Logan at the 311 show the other night and he was in the bathroom with another guy and they were both trying to masturbate into the sink\!

41. (Masturbate) (26↑, 5↓)
The act that you will perform after reading this page of definitions.

Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.

42. (masturbate) (30↑, 12↓)
something every girl had done at some point

i love to masturbate with my glow-in-the-dark vibrator

43. (masturbate) (69↑, 51↓)
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Beat the meat, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.

Vote for the clit commander. and the clit will live on

Author: The clit commander http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1116403
44. (masturbate) (36↑, 19↓)
to rub yourself untill you have an orgasm (the point where you feel so good you feel like you died and were reborn as a god)98% of people do it and the rest who dont are so old they cant feel it anymore or hav a desease so they cant feel it.also funny that if you dont know some1 that also does it you will never hear that they do it. i have friends that do it and i do it too and im sure that i got a friend to do it by looking at porn while he was over lol.for best results have your select favorite kind of porn and lube(u no hav to buy try certan gel soaps/shampoos lol sum are better than expencive comercial lube) also night is great to cover up along wit shower lol(the only reson guys dont masturbate together is bcause they dont know how their dicks compare ::truth)and the myth about masturbation making your dik smaller :fake: along with the gay thing parents tell you to make you stop with the blindness lol obviously fake.after your first [cumming] you will never spend more than a week without it again

person 1)ew you masturbate(trying to act surprised) person 2)ya who doesnt? person 1)what kinda porn u like?(whispering) person 2)wide variety. person 1)u got a good site i got 3 viruses so far? person 2)ya (i was gonna rite a good 1 but that would count as advertising lol)\!

45. (masturbate) (46↑, 29↓)
Pleasing yourself manually to the point of orgasm

When a woman opens her legs wide and sticks in her fingers in her vagina, while the other had rubs her clit until reaching a climax. When a man looks at porn and at the point when his dick becomes hard, he wraps his hand around it and starts to stroke up and down at a face pace in order tp get off

46. (masturbate) (19↑, 3↓)
To play with oneself, usually until orgasm is reached

Man 1: You masturbate that much. It's not even that great Man 2: Don't hate the bate, it's sex with someone I love

Author: That man with the thing http://masturbate.urbanup.com/4846990
47. (masturbate) (26↑, 10↓)
Freeing ur tadpoles;Rubbing your dick until it hardens to the core and a white subtance called SPERM also known as cum oozes out and in some cases it leaks out.

Joe:my science teacher told me that sperms look like tadpoles Jim:So? Joe:I thought of not being cruel to them.So once i reached home,i freed them :-) Jim:Actually that's wat i do during my free time,I masturbate. Joe:Oh,ok...

48. (masturbate) (40↑, 24↓)
In the Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie describes it quite clearly. "Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older then me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow\!"

see? it tells you how to masturbate.

Author: me, because i am obsessed with books. http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1778524
49. (masturbate) (28↑, 16↓)
1. Masturbate for male: When a postpubecent male reveals his [dick], it gets hard because he is [horny] and he starts to move his hand(s) up and down on it until he [cum]s. Also know as jerking off or jacking off 2. Masturbate for female: When a woman puts her fingers or an object into her [pussy] and goes in and out until she has an [orgasm]. Also known as fingering 3. A way of sexually pleasuring oneself.

1. guy 1: I jacked off last night to your girlfriend's picture guy 2: dude, thats sick 2. girl: I masturbated last night thinking about you. guy: thats hot

50. (masturbate) (30↑, 21↓)
v.(proper) to self stimulate ones sexual genitalia v.(slang) go fuck yourself

When you get stuck for the tab in a nice resterant it is more polite to tell the cheapskate to masterbate and hope they understand the true intent behind the word rather than be blunt.

51. (masturbate) (14↑, 6↓)
I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was, "Crowning the King." I thought it was the funniest.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew\! Prince Andrew\! How much longer are you going to be in there? Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum. Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew\! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you? Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King\!

52. (masturbate) (17↑, 10↓)
A form of sexual pleasure that people perform when they can't get enough sex. Some people do it several times a day. Others do it weekly or maybe even monthly.

Man, I can't get enough sex, I think I'll go masturbate. Dude, I'm bored, I'm gonna go masturbate.

53. (Masturbate) (16↑, 10↓)
What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.

Don't be fooled by the 45 minutes of "washing my hair" make sure everyone in your household takes a poop before you masturbate

Author: itakelongshowers http://masturbate.urbanup.com/4940754
54. (masturbate) (5↑, 0↓)
When a male or a female pleasures themselves by touching their genitals as to make them feel like they have just had sex. Everyone does it...don't be embarassed. Wondering how, here you go:

Guys: Make sure no one is watching unless you aren't afraid someone will walk in on you. You can either get naked, just take your pants off or just shove your hand(s) down your pants. Grab your penis, grabbing it whatever way feels comfortable or would make you think you feel more stimulated. Slowly move up and down or side to side or in a circular motion. Progress faster and faster until you cum. And then keep doing it. Girls: Unless you don't care if someone sees you, make sure no one is around. Take of your bottoms and undies. Grab yourself, moving up and down. Rub you clit. If you want to, slam your fingers into your pussy. Stop a little before you cum. Wait a few minutes, then repeat. It makes the experience A LOT more stimulating. PLEASE READ: If this made you honry, please go and masturbate\! That's what this was for\!

55. (Masturbate) (7↑, 2↓)
1. A long forgotten Karate teacher. 2. Self manipulation of the genitals in order to simulate sexual pleasure

Who the fuck would even consider going elite in the martial arts world if their surname is bate? Wow, all the fun of sex anywhere, anytime. Might as well masturbate in class, I'm bored.

56. (masturbate) (12↑, 7↓)
What to do whenever you aren't in school or at work. Actually, you can do it there too, but be subtle.

I masturbated while I wrote this definition for urban dictionary.

Author: IM JERKING OFF RITE NOW http://masturbate.urbanup.com/3860337
57. (masturbate) (31↑, 26↓)
To cuff the duke\!\!\! this is for the hardcore masturbaters. this is modern slang. It means to really rub out a good one A good place to cuff the duke is in a roomates bed while he is out pleasuring his lady friend. cuffing the duke is great when done alone or with mulitple partners. I recommend cuffing out many dukes today.

I am going to cuff the duke(masturbate hardcore), do not disturb\!

58. (masturbate) (8↑, 4↓)
What you do while lying in bed.

While listening to the radio, a song gave me a boner, so I began to masturbate.

59. (masturbate) (12↑, 10↓)
the act of sticking your finger in your p**sy and moving it around to sexualy please yourself.

sam" Whatd ya do last night?" Pam" i had to masturbate yself just cause it feels to good"

60. (masturbate) (22↑, 21↓)
when a man slowly and while getting quicker rubs his penis up and down when he is horny until he ejaculates. results in extreme satisfaction.

last night i walked in on my brother masturbating. it made me horny so i stole his playboy, took off all my clothes, and started to masturbate in my room.

61. (masturbate) (0↑, 0↓)
The act of stroking a cock or fingering a pussy until a sperm whale shoots out of either one also known as a climax or orgasm

oh ohhhh oooh OH OH SHIT\! AWW YAH OH OH *sperms* ahhhhh i love to masturbate

Author: jonny boy4444444 http://masturbate.urbanup.com/6070421
62. (Masturbate) (9↑, 12↓)
Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.

Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle. He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower. "It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard\!"

63. (masturbate) (20↑, 23↓)
verb. 1.to perform a form of pleasure to ones self. 2.to perform a form of pleasure onto someone.

i need to masturbate im to horny to talk.

64. (Masturbate) (38↑, 41↓)
Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick

I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in

65. (masturbate) (26↑, 30↓)
its a proven fact that if girls masturbate more then 4 times a week the chances of getting cancer goes down 1/4

wow my chances go down 1/4..im gonna go masturbate

66. (Masturbate) (0↑, 5↓)
verb. screwing someone you love.

I love to masturbate

67. (masturbate) (21↑, 26↓)
*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.

Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrot[masturbate]? -Source: George Carlin

68. (masturbate) (12↑, 18↓)
To "play" with one's self until orgasm.

(Dude 1) I masturbated ALL night last night to your grandmother (Dude 2) WTF? What's wrong with you?

Author: What? Don't look at me http://masturbate.urbanup.com/3647635
69. (Masturbate) (22↑, 29↓)
to pleasure yourself with your penis and your hand.

Note to self: dont masturbate when your pointing to your eyes.

70. (masturbate) (6↑, 15↓)
1. When a naughty little man is feeling [horny] and so he plays with his [baboingaboing] whilst veiwing pornography. 2. When a lonely, horny girl pretty much [fingers] herself, usually while thinking of something exciting or having [cybersex]. 3. Something all guys do. usually cause they cant get laid.

1. With his girlfriend away, Kobu mastubated every night while thinking of her. 2. Maria, the star tuba player in her band class, enjoys her monday nights masturbating in front of the computer instead of practicing. 3. Cameron (female): do you masturbate? John: um YES\!\! Cameron: OMG me too\!\!

Author: I, for one, do not touch myself. http://masturbate.urbanup.com/2943763
71. (masturbate) (31↑, 40↓)
to stroke your penis till it becomes a fountain of white liquid at the same time moaning like after a maraton

I stroke my hard cock till i cum all over my bed when the door open my dad caught me masturbating

72. (masturbate) (36↑, 47↓)
to pleasure oneself; to extract semen manually

Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.

73. (Masturbate) (15↑, 27↓)
When a man or women plays with there testicular area...vagina/penis

Mike likes to masturbate a lot. So does Ashley.

74. (Masturbate) (18↑, 30↓)
to "pull the goalie, wank it, jerk it, or to have solo-sex"

little time pulled the goalie but didn't tell his mom he was wanking it.

75. (masturbate) (14↑, 30↓)
Tune the skin flute.

I masturbated last night, good to keep the skin flute in tune.

76. (masturbate) (30↑, 47↓)
an event in hacky sack. When "masturbate" is called during play, everyone must touch the sack once each after kicking it, then pass it to the next person. It refers to [masturbation] involving "touching your sack"

When peter called "masturbate," david faltered by forgetting to touch the hack once.

77. (masturbate) (22↑, 39↓)
spooning the purple-headed yogurt swinger...

I enjoy masturbating as much as porn...

78. (Masturbate) (20↑, 38↓)
To play with oneself until one reaches and is dancing on the top of the mountain

The fat ugly guy couldn't make me come, so I waited until he passed out from exhaustion and then I masturbated.

Author: thatgirldrinkinglemonade http://masturbate.urbanup.com/177288
79. (masturbate) (32↑, 52↓)
to masturbate is when a girl touches her front bottom and clitoris until its wet or a boy touches his willy until its wet and masturbation is done for fun because some people want to do sex but cant or they just feel like it and the wet stuff that comes out can make a white patch in your pants or knickers and people do not normally touch their private parts in public

oh and im touching my front bottom and oo yeah im tickling my clitoris ohh yeah mmmm all the wet stuffs coming out its all over my fingers ooooo mmm im fingering my front bottom oh and ive got my willy and im touching it all over and the we t stuff is coming out ooo mmm and it feels goood ohh yeah when i masturbate i get really excited

80. (masturbate) (3↑, 24↓)
when yu feel ur self after bein soo horny dat yu cant take it no mo, or the act of havin sexual pleasure by urself o ur partner doin it fo yu, or again feelin ur guys: dick aka cock female: pussy in a way dat yu feel lyk ur havin sex 4 real.;)

i wuz so n so horny dat i wudn't take it no mo n chose to masturbate, i lyk masturbating it feelz so uhhhh nicee p.s im from masturbatin befo' writin dis def;)

Author: im fresh n yes\! ooohhh yesssss http://masturbate.urbanup.com/3917982
81. (masturbate) (15↑, 37↓)
To turn on the faucet, to polish the tube.

I masturbate every night\!

82. (masturbate) (17↑, 39↓)
Fly the airplane. Shift gears.

Well guys, I'm off to fly the airplane\! Man, I gotta go and shift gears\!

83. (masturbate) (11↑, 35↓)
Beating the Bishop, Hand Shandy, Saying hi to Madame Palm and her five lovely sisters, Wanking

If you go into a gay bar and the barman offers to pull you a shandy by hand then you know you've pulled.

84. (masturbate) (12↑, 38↓)
to stimulate the genetails mainly

1. the doctor said for me to masturbate in that 2. masturbating is not as good as scuttlin 3. i get handjobs so i masturbate but not with my right hand 4. stop masturbating in your wanking chariot 5. masturbating is dirty

85. (masturbate) (26↑, 52↓)
the main thing to catch a fish with

i used my masturbate to catch some catfish - yumyum

86. (masturbate) (10↑, 40↓)
How stupid are you that you need to look up in Urban Dictionary to know what masturbate means?

Masturbate? You're kidding me if you're saying you dont know what it is\!\!\!\!

87. (masturbate) (18↑, 48↓)
to fire ones death star OR to open ones fire hose
88. (masturbate) (28↑, 63↓)
mas-tur-bait, verb. self-stimulation of the genetalia which may or may not end in an orgasm

mother: "I'd better not catch you touching yourself down there again\!" teenager: "Mom\! I swear I wasn't..." mother: "Well, let me tell you this, every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten\!" teenager: "I guess I should think of the kittens."

89. (masturbate) (12↑, 53↓)
throwing the javelin

alan threw the javelin several times during the PE lesson

Author: Thomas Edward Ivens http://masturbate.urbanup.com/115740
90. (Masturbate) (12↑, 58↓)
Taming the one eyed ogre, One hand Solo, Going Commando, Shaking hands with mister happy, Tuning the fork, Playing the ace,

Mark liks to masturbate to pictures of jesse

91. (masturbate) (24↑, 70↓)
Shaking hands with benjamin franklin

johnny went to the white house to see the presidents wife and shake hands with benjamin franklin

92. (masturbate) (35↑, 90↓)
The way men who are doomed to be virgins forever pleasure themselves. The best way to do it is to use the forehand technique. Trust me, I know. Seriously though, if you can reach an orgasm, you are a true man. SO go try it, do it in front of your mother, your father if you're gay. Which i'm not. So i never did it in front of my father. Trust me.

Dude, while i had an orgy last night with 69 girls, you and your dad masturbated and 69'd. own3d.

Author: Master Masturbate http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1306413
93. (masturbate) (183↑, 243↓)
The act which makes people go blind, insane and have hairy palms.

"Damn, I can tell you've been masturbating again." "Huh? who said that?"

94. (masturbate) (25↑, 89↓)
What people do when they are too lazy to go to the bathroom instead.

Half of the time you don't even have to masturbate because you can just go to the bathroom instead.

95. (masturbate) (50↑, 124↓)
master-bait...to master the art of fishing or the way to catch fish, by using bait

did u master bait for the trip weekend?

96. (masturbate) (11↑, 105↓)
What I do when thinking of J. Jordan.

He's my swarthy little Bolshevik Med, get your own\!

97. (masturbate) (18↑, 153↓)
You people are missing beating your meat as a synonym. And sex so beats masturbation's ass. Maybe your bf or gf just suck at sex... stick to giving head instead, lameasses.

go and masturbate, or whatever you dumbasses want to call it.

Author: Get it right, bitches. http://masturbate.urbanup.com/1553873
Related: wank, masturbation, jack off, sex, jerk off, penis, cum, porn, jerk, beat off, jizz, dick, masturbating, fap, ejaculate, cock, vagina, choke the chicken, orgasm, wanking, jacking off, spank the monkey, hand job, jerking off, masterbate, whack off, fuck, horny, jack, semen, shit, pussy, wanker, off, handjob, wack off, gay, sperm, finger, rub one out
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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Look at other dictionaries:

  • masturbate — v. i. [imp. & p. p. {masturbated}; p. pr. & vb. n. {masturbating}.] To achieve sexual gratification by stimulating one s own sexual organs, without the aid of a partner; typically to the point of orgasm. {masturbator}, n. Syn: wank, she bop, jack …   The Collaborative International Dictionary of English

  • masturbate — (v.) 1839, back formation from MASTURBATION (Cf. masturbation), or else from L. masturbatus, pp. of masturbari. Related: Masturbated; masturbating …   Etymology dictionary

  • masturbate — ► VERB ▪ stimulate one s genitals with one s hand for sexual pleasure. DERIVATIVES masturbation noun masturbator noun masturbatory adjective. ORIGIN Latin masturbari …   English terms dictionary

  • masturbate — [mas′tər bāt΄] vi., vt. masturbated, masturbating [< L masturbatus, pp. of masturbari, altered (by assoc. with turbare, to DISTURB) < * manstupro < manus, hand (see MANUAL) + stuprum, defilement < IE base * steup , to strike, a stick …   English World dictionary

  • masturbate — UK [ˈmæstə(r)beɪt] / US [ˈmæstərˌbeɪt] verb Word forms masturbate : present tense I/you/we/they masturbate he/she/it masturbates present participle masturbating past tense masturbated past participle masturbated a) [intransitive] to rub your… …   English dictionary

  • masturbate — [ mastəbeɪt] verb stimulate one s genitals with one s hand for sexual pleasure. Derivatives masturbation noun masturbator noun masturbatory adjective Origin C19: from L. masturbat , masturbari masturbate , of unknown ultimate origin …   English new terms dictionary

  • Masturbate-a-thon — logo …   Wikipedia

  • masturbate — verb ( bated; bating) Etymology: Latin masturbatus, past participle of masturbari Date: 1839 intransitive verb to practice masturbation transitive verb to practice masturbation on • masturbator noun …   New Collegiate Dictionary

  • masturbate — masturbator, n. /mas teuhr bayt /, v., masturbated, masturbating. v.i. 1. to engage in masturbation. v.t. 2. to practice masturbation upon. [1855 60; < L masturbatus, ptp. of masturbari to engage in masturbation] * * * …   Universalium

  • masturbate — verb To stimulate oneself sexually, especially by use of one’s hand, sometimes with a partner. Syn: beat off, beat the meat, choke the chicken, jack off, jerk off, play with oneself, polish the pole, slap the salami, spank the monkey …   Wiktionary

  • masturbate — To practice masturbation. [L. masturbari, pp. masturbatus] * * * mas·tur·bate mas tər .bāt vb, bat·ed; bat·ing vi to practice masturbation vt to practice masturbation on mas·tur·ba·tor .bāt ər n …   Medical dictionary

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